Sunday, November 4, 2012

I trust my wife

I trust Katie and I know why I trust her.  It's a weird statement to make but bear with me.

There is an implicit trust in any relationship, usually without any basis other than a hope that the other person won't fail you.  It's a hope-based trust that over time is either substantiated or refuted through observations and actions.  There is also a trust that is built on observation and fact first rather than simply given.  I hope you follow the distinction.

For me, the second type of trust has grown since marrying Katie.  Specifically, I trust Katie's wisdom.

I am really smart.  I went to grad school for engineering and graduated with a 3.6, I think.  So I'm smart.  Katie wouldn't say that she is smart, but I think she is wise and certainly wiser than I.  I've always lacked wisdom on how to talk to people or how to relate to them or even how to critically think through some types of situations.  I'm not a complete failure, but I do lack social wisdom.  I know it and so to help myself, I tend to rely on basic assumptions about people's character/motivations, direct and concise communication, and other methods/means to interact with people.

For the most part, it works.  But it's not intuitive.  I'm a self-taught social interactor.

But not so with Katie.  She understands how the way I phrase a sentence may cause hurt feelings or confusion.  She understands how certain things may or may not be right for a church.  She knows these things intuitively.  It's hard for me to describe just how different she is but I hope you get it.

It all adds up to a burgeoning trust in her judgment.  She's my confidant and sounding board and I am growing to trust what she says and not question it.  For example, we were talking one night this week about what I should write to a friend in an email.  I read her something I wrote and she questioned it and gave me suggestions to change things.  I got defensive in my head but then remembered "Katie's probably right.  Just change it and don't worry."  And that was good.

I trust Katie's wisdom and love her all the more for it.  Lucky me.


1 comment:

  1. I have often recognized Katie's "emotional intelligence" - and have been glad every time I deferred to it. You are wise to trust her!

    ReplyDelete