That awkward moment when....

...You get in trouble for skipping fun events to have some quiet time and then you get in trouble for skipping the quiet events to have some fun.  It's lose-lose some days.



Really struggling with others' expectations for me - totes obvs by my immature sentences above.

Shift in thinking

Since going to college and learning to wrestle with my faith in Jesus, I've maintained the importance of our choice in belief and actions as a fundamental step in salvation and sanctification.  One might classify my theological stance as Arminian (Wesleyan) and that might be a fair assessment.  I'm certainly not ultra-Calvinist in much of my leanings.*

I think the Bible does stress that the choices we make reflect our relationship with God.  The book of James is a good example.  Jesus' description of the broad and narrow gates imply active participation in our own salvation.  Lastly, Paul's words exhorting us to personal holiness lead me to believe that we have a responsibility to choose God over sin (Romans 8, etc.).  I take a more holistic view of sanctification and salvation and rather than dividing them into two distint events/processes, I think they can happen simultaneously.

But when I read Ephesians 1 and Romans 8, I am impressed with God's active participation in our distinct salvation and sanctification.  I'm wowed that before the foundation of the world, God chose us in him to be holy and blameless in his sight.  Wow.  I'm not going to break this down philosophically.  I just want to reflect on a change in me - before dwelling on Ephesians 1 I had a limited view of God's active participation in our salvation.  God was, in my thinking, like an engineer who designed a system and stepped away.  He's still like that in that he asks us to steward his creation but his preliminary design was so much more awesome and loving than I previously believed.**

Romans 8 challenged me because it stresses the current and active role of the Holy Spirit in our lives to make us Holy.  God's administration of his construction is powerful and active.  It's so much more than giving us power to break free from the chains of sin and death - God, as his Holy Spirit in us, is powerfully, lovingly, and painfully killing sin in us.  Romans 8 stresses God's active role and balances it with our personal obligation to pursue holiness.  The change for me has been a deepened love for God's active role in us, not just a sense of my obligation to pursue holiness.

I read Ephesians 1:4-14 and am wowed and impressed by God's design.  He's freaking amazing and thoughtful.  What a wonderful engineer is our God.

In regards to the philosophical camps of Arminianism and Calvinism that I mentioned at the top - God doesn't operate exclusively in one of those philosophies.  It's a wonderful and amazing mix of foreknowledge, predestination, choice (his and ours), freedom of sin and sanctification, and pursuit of a holy and blameless people devoted to worshipping Yahweh alone.

Wow.  I can't help but respond with singing this song:

http://sovereigngracemusic.bandcamp.com/track/come-praise-and-glorify

To the praise of his Glory!  To the praise of his mercy and grace!

*Not that I think there is anything inherently more wrong or right in those two philosophical camps; it's just a position I like - I just don't want a philosophical debate here.

**I'm using engineering metaphors.  Watch out.

I trust my wife

I trust Katie and I know why I trust her.  It's a weird statement to make but bear with me.

There is an implicit trust in any relationship, usually without any basis other than a hope that the other person won't fail you.  It's a hope-based trust that over time is either substantiated or refuted through observations and actions.  There is also a trust that is built on observation and fact first rather than simply given.  I hope you follow the distinction.

For me, the second type of trust has grown since marrying Katie.  Specifically, I trust Katie's wisdom.

I am really smart.  I went to grad school for engineering and graduated with a 3.6, I think.  So I'm smart.  Katie wouldn't say that she is smart, but I think she is wise and certainly wiser than I.  I've always lacked wisdom on how to talk to people or how to relate to them or even how to critically think through some types of situations.  I'm not a complete failure, but I do lack social wisdom.  I know it and so to help myself, I tend to rely on basic assumptions about people's character/motivations, direct and concise communication, and other methods/means to interact with people.

For the most part, it works.  But it's not intuitive.  I'm a self-taught social interactor.

But not so with Katie.  She understands how the way I phrase a sentence may cause hurt feelings or confusion.  She understands how certain things may or may not be right for a church.  She knows these things intuitively.  It's hard for me to describe just how different she is but I hope you get it.

It all adds up to a burgeoning trust in her judgment.  She's my confidant and sounding board and I am growing to trust what she says and not question it.  For example, we were talking one night this week about what I should write to a friend in an email.  I read her something I wrote and she questioned it and gave me suggestions to change things.  I got defensive in my head but then remembered "Katie's probably right.  Just change it and don't worry."  And that was good.

I trust Katie's wisdom and love her all the more for it.  Lucky me.

Attic After School

This morning, my wife left me to go to work.  Usually, I leave her to go to work.  A quick kiss, "I love you and see you tonight," and I'm out the door.  This morning, she tucked a blanket around me, kissed me goodbye, and drove to her job in Wyoming, MI.

Katie runs an after school program designed to give junior high and high school kids something to do between the end of a school day and 5 o'clock.  A lot of these kids are in single parent homes or both parents work, so the time from 2:30 to 5 is often devoid of purpose and an opportunity for mischief.

Enter, Attic After School.

On Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays this school year, between 15 and 30 kids will show up, eat a snack, play games, and hear the Bible.  AAS serves the community by providing a safe place for kids after school and serves the kids by giving them a snack, some fun, some friends, and little bit of the Bread of Life.

Katie is passionate about her kids at AAS.  She serves selflessly and aggressively seeks  that these kids learn about Jesus and make wise choices.

Just writing this this brag post makes me a little excited about her and AAS.  She does good.

Check it all out here:  http://www.atticafterschool.org/   or here:  http://www.facebook.com/AtticAfterSchool

Katie

I love you.

Photos of my life

My favorite pop.  Introduced by the Brazilians.  This one courtesy of Jess Cymbal.

My and my then fiancee.  

Nothing beats coffee and the bible.  I wish this were a full time job.

Waiting for a plane.  Isn't she cute?

For work, we built water level monitoring wells and are trying to qualify/quantify the backwater effect from the Red Cedar River in East Lansing, MI.

A picture of a picture in our apartment.  Courtesy of my rabbit sister, Cher.

Still Married

Tomorrow will mark one month of marriage for Katie and I.  Here are a few highlights:

• Not saying "goodbye" at night.  It's now a kiss and "Joel, stop talking and go to sleep."
• Dinner together.  Families eat together.  We are a family, thus we eat together.  
• The food.  Oh, my word.  The food is so good.  Who taught this woman to cook?  Apple crisp, stuffed shells, pizza balls, chicken tacos, etc, etc, etc.  So delicious.  I've already gained 5 pounds.
• Always seeing Katie.  She's terrific and fun and she laughs at my dorky jokes.  
• Having several NERF gun wars.  Totally awesome.
• Setting up a home.  She's done good work making a bachelor's apartment look cute.  
• Playing Dominoes together.  We have each won one game and I'm planning to win again tonight :).
• Going grocery shopping.  She's efficient and that is hott.  My wife is hott (note: the two "t's").

That's all about it.

J